Butterflies work in progress
by Wingers413
Summary: Life for Hisao and Rin after the good ending. If anyone is interested in helping me correct any mistakes it would be greatly appreceated
1. Chapter 1

New beginnings.

She stood up there on that rock for quite some time. I watched her as it went from dusk to the dark of night. Eventually I climb up and sit down beside where she was standing, giving my legs a brake and not caring about getting wet. With a fluid that comes from someone as agile as this woman is, she "plops" down beside me.

"Butts wet," Rin says, turning to look at me. "We could go, but I thought we could watch the stars for a while" I respond putting my arm around her and pulling her close with a smile. "That's OK, I wanted to stay too." Nuzzling in close, apparently not interested in the stars at all as her hair falls over her face. We sit like this for a while, in that comfortable silence that I've grown to like about her. Losing track of time, I watch the moon rise, a full one at that. With nothing but the sounds of the light wind blowing around us and both of breaths, I get lost in my thoughts about what the future may bring now.

"Hisao?" She asks, looking up at me with those big deep eyes. "Mmm?" Raising an eyebrow. "You have plans for the future?," She scrunches her face at this. "I mean what are you going to do next year, not that you predict the future. Can you?" I give a little laugh, making her cock her head to one side. "I don't think so, but I do see you in my future." As soon as it's out of my mouth I feel corny, and begin to blush. She smirks, "OK, lets head back."

The walk back was quiet, except for the sound of the wind in the trees. What did I have planed for the future. We could live together, I have no doubt about that, but what would I DO? I do like drawing, and art, but I'm no where near Rin's level. I did find science fairly easy to understand, I think that's it. Waking from my train of thought, I don't see Rin, until I turn my head. She's walking besides me. Odd, she never did that before. As far as looks go, for Rin could almost say she was feeling smug. It gives me an odd feeling, but a good one.

We reach the dorms, undetected by the patrolling staff and make our way to my room. At my door, as I'm fishing for the key. Rin, standing behind me, notices the usual soft blue glow coming from underneath my neighbors door. Kenji was an odd one, a lot odder than Rin, but he did have his own.. whats the word Lilly used? Ah unique... He was unique. I smile at that thought and open the door to my room with Rin on my heals.

As I'm closing the door behind her, I catch out of the corner of my eye, that look. A man who's had a intimate moment with a woman knows it. I ignore it, locking the door, and glancing at the clock. 4ish in the morning, wow, I was lost there. I'm not tired, though I should be. I walk past Rin, watching her face out of the corner of my eye as I grab the first of too many bottles of meds that I need to take. A little scowl briefly skitters across her face before returning to her normal almost unreadable expression. I try my best to hide my smile while swallowing my pills, I know full well she's not one to tip toe when shes.. "frisky?". As I put the last pill bottle down and turn to face her, her expression changes. It's odd, her face is not normally so expressive, but then again, today was a rather big day, for both of us. Lost in thought, I don't notice her taking a few steps towards me. Next thing I know, Rin's small shoulder is in my gut, with her stumpy arms embracing me the best they can, as I'm knocked backwards onto my bed. 

Heat

Mmm. He can't be that dense. Maybe he's in shock from earlier. I don't think so, he looks too, that's the word, not happy, smug maybe? I don't know, that might be it. Maybe if I don't give him a chance to think, once he's done with his pills. Swallow dammit. Now. I open what I have for arms and, at the last minute I remember he's taking those pills for a reason and attempt  
>to soften the blow, by wrapping these so called arms of mine around his mid section. You are now under my control. I squirm up so I can straddle his waist. He's giggling like a little girl. That's no good.<p>

"Something funny?" I ask, while he looks at me with a smirk on his face. "You better get this out now, I'm not sure how my father will feel about you tackling his son with a heart condition." Mmm, I'm going to meet the parents am I? Need to think on that. After a few moments thought, I look down at Hisao. His face seems tense, maybe. Strained, yes that's it, strained. Wonder why.  
>Not a good look for him, not at all. I climb off him, and go to turn out the lights. When I come back he's looking at me, hard to see, but he is. There's questions in that face.<p>

"Hisao, tell me about your family," I ask. I hear his breath catch, only for a second, I think. I climb back over him and worm my way under his arm resting my head on his chest. No urges anymore, that's weird. Wonder why?

"Well, where do I begin?" There's a hitch there, he's not... I don't know, something's not right. "Fathers," His face scrunches "well, fathers old fashioned." He says with a troubled look on his face. Ah. That's it. Dad doesn't like his son dating cripple girls. Hmm. "He'll love me, if you take after him at all, he will," I say as I look up at him. That face, that's just wrong putting a face that belongs in a picture on a boy like this. Almost heart breaking. Dammit, I think my crotch has a mind mind of its own. What is it they say about red heads? Fire box, no, that's not it. Fire crotch, that's it.

"Hisao, I told you I love you, isn't the normal thing to do after that is have sex?" I look up at him, practicing the hurt puppy look Emi pulls off. Need to talk to that girl, need more pointers. I throw my leg up over this boy and position myself over his crotch. He looks surprised, maybe confused, hard to tell. I got needs though. So does he apparently from what I can feel. I bend down to his neck, nibbling as I rock my hips. There it is, that little gasp, a little bit of heaven. Or at least heaven to someone who's not a eunuch. Or would a eunuch enjoy this?

I feel hands on my butt. It's good, hard to stop a reaction. I moan out loud. "You need to undress me. Now." My attempt at being as firm as Emi apparently fails, as he laughs, bucking his hips in the process. This only makes my situation worse. Not good. "Hisao, if we are going to be a, whatever it is we are, you need to learn a few things." This gets his attention. "If how you handled my breasts earlier was any sign, you'll need to learn how to do girl things. Now undress me," With that he reaches up and with shaky hand pulls off my tie, and fumbles with buttons. That face, hard to read, I wonder what color he is. He looks burnt umber, no not that, defiantly not that. He's gotten my bra off. He's learning anyways. My breasts in is face apparently is making it hard for him to undo my pants. Never thought he'd have trouble with that. Alger blue, yes that's it, alger blue.

With a quick motion, he scoops me up and spins me around so he's on top of me. OK, so he's got some things down. He's tugging my pants and panties off. Next before I know it, he's in me and working his hips rhythmically. Damn, that's deep. I like this position, legs up on his shoulders. I can see that face. He's grinning like, I don't know, do wolfs grin? It's not long before I finish, unfortunately rather wetly. I can't keep the noise in, and groan in pure delight. After his hands find my breasts, quickly working me up again. On hand finds its way to that little spot. I let out a loud moan, looking up into Hisaos face. He's almost done, I clench as tight as I can. That does it. Now that's the look of heaven. He collapses on me. I press my head to his chest to listen to his heart. It's loud, but normal? I guess, I hope so. He kisses me deeply, and rolls off.

"Hisao let me sleep against the wall" I ask before he gets to comfortable. He sighs and kisses me again with a grin. I snuggle up to him as he settles and I catch his pause. "Um, Rin.. the bed's wet"..

The swarm.

Today is a better day to start summer vacation. It's bright out, and enjoy the warmth coming through a crack in my curtains. I feel hair tickling my chest. I open my eyes and there's a softly snoring girl with auburn hair. A peaceful look, rarely seen, even when she's painting. I supposed it is reserved for times like these. Regretfully,I crane my neck to glance at my clock and lay back down and close my eyes. 1:20 pm, I guess I'm staying today. We'll go home tomorrow. Then I think back about my time since coming to Yamaku Academy. All the people I've met, and then about Rin. At that last thought, my body becomes aware of her body up against my own. I look down to her face, she's awake, and those deep pools that always seem so distant are here and now it seems.

"Morning," I breath, barely keeping a smile from my face.

"Hellooo," she responds, arching her back like a cat. It's hard to stop from noticing the muscles of her back showing through her skin. She'd forget to eat at all, on her own I bet. I wonder how strong that back must be?

"Am I going to meet the parents today?" sitting up and giving me a look from over her shoulder.

Placing my hands behind my neck and relaxing "Tomorrow, they'd be at work now, I told them I'd call the day before we come up,"

I do my best not to think about how my parents will react to this interesting person beside me. With a quick fluid motion she turns, straddles my mid section and is cocking her head at me, her hair looking like its usual mess.

"I'll call them after we eat," On cue my stomach growls. "but first I need a shower." Rin's face barely hides that little frown that flashes before being replaced with a small grin. Her eyes twinkle "OK, you need to help me in the shower." I sigh, trying to keep my eyes off the auburn patch between her thighs as she deftly gets of off me and stands up. For a moment there's a look in her eyes, a familiar look that puts me on edge.

"You OK?" I ask attempting to keep my face neutral while picking up the scattered remains of her clothes and grabbing fresh clothes for myself. We'll have get her some fresh clothes first, thinking to myself waiting for a reply. After a few seconds she gives her head a quick shake, "yes, fine. Do need shower though, all sweaty." I grin as a reply.

As we leave my dorm room, there door across the hall opens and very tired looking Kenji pokes his head out the door. Peering at first me and then Rin. "Hello," She says in reply to his inquisitive look. He peers closer at her then back to me. Before closing his door he mutters "God damn banshees screaming in the middle of the night, it's the beginning of the end I tell you!" I shake my head and smile before Rin and I head off to her room for some clean clothes for her before we shower.

It's quiet, as we shower, with her giving me short instructions here and there. It's harder than I imagined helping a girl shower, and no matter what I think of I can't stop the erection, but she ignores it, as my stomach complains about not getting the attention it needs.

I leave Rin in her room while she packs what she needs for her trip as I head to the cafeteria to grab some food. When I come back, she's sitting on the edge of her bed, her suitcase open and partially filled with clothes, a sketch book and other girl things. She's stopped in mid activity, a pair of panties clenched in the toes of her right foot. I cant help the twinge of fear that grabs my chest, I watch for a moment longer. She doesn't move, her eyes have that same foggy look, like she's not looking at anything.

"Rin, here eat something" A few moments more, and she blinks. The fear lets go, "are you OK?" She looks up at me with no hint of any emotion and says in her normal deadpan voice, "Swarm of butterflies"

Going home:

He's a pacer, didn't figure him for one. Not surprised though.

"Hello mother, how are you?"

I tune out the conversation, or I try to. He runs his hands though his hair a lot too. With one piece always popping back up. Makes him stand out in a crowd. I wonder what he'd look like with short hair. I look out the window. The sun is hidden from view, but the clouds are there. I wonder if he has a thing for girls with auburn hair. That cloud looks like a duck, creepy.

"Her name is Tezuka Rin. Yes mother, um well see she.."

Hehe that bothers him. I can not help but to smirk at that. Did I pack my pencil sharpener? I unzip my luggage with my left foot and rummage through it until I find it. I hate that thing, hard to use. I haven't had mango in a while. I have to make up for the lost time in school after meeting the parents for a week. My feet are dry, I wonder if Hisao would put lotion on them like Emi did.

"Did mother fall over dead?" I ask as zip up my luggage again. He can't hide his shock. I grin.

"No, she's fine, father say's he's looking forward to meeting you," He scratches the back of his neck, he couldn't hide his feelings if he tried. "He says he's never met a famous artist before." I can't do anything but turn my head and look at him. "May be I was over thinking things." He says sheepishly. I smirk at him and return my attention the window. "They'll be here tomorrow for 9, but they both have to work once we get home so we'll have the house to our selves."

The ducks gone now, now it's a turtle, maybe with something on its back. Hisao's saying something, "Rin, any idea of what you'd like to do the rest of the day?" I nod, stand and head for the door. "Lets walk"

The rest of the day is spent walking around the small town just outside of school, can't remember the name. It's quiet though, nice. We end up back at the dorms, late I would guess, from the look of the where the moon is. I look up at Hisao, "You need to pack, can't be late for meeting the parents," He smiles ruefuly. "Good night Rin" He replies kissing me. "Night" I turn and head to my room.

The next morning finds me awake rather earlier than I wanted to be. I think I was having a nice dream. I don't remember. I know it involved turtles and Hisao riding them. Weird. I don't worry about getting dressed, I slept in my clothes. More efficient I look at my clock, 6:15 am. Not good. I grab some clean clothes and stuff them into a plastic bag and head out to the boy's dormitory. Spotting the guard, I jump into the bushes, holding the bag of clothes as hard as I can in my mouth, and watch as he passes by. That man is not normal. Saw him staring at Emi once. He's a pervert I think. Once the coast is clear I make my way into the boys dorm and ignore a few of the surprised looks I get. I kick the door.

It takes a few minutes but he answers looking very much like he rolled out of bed.

"Pfowr" I attempt to say. It's difficult to talk with a bag in your mouth. "OK, OK," he says taking the bag from my mouth while laughing at me and plucking a twig from my hair.

The morning runs on with our routines, he's getting better at bathing girls, but not getting erections. We end up out front of the gates to the school with our bags, I wonder if I could ride it down the hill.

Hisao looks at his watch and looks over at me, "They should be here any minute now, and no you can't ride that down the hill", grinning as if he likes the thought. I attempt the puppy dog tacit again and fail.

A car pulls up the hill as I contemplate the dynamics of luggage luge. The car's parked and his parents step out to hug his son.

"Father, Mother, I'd like you to meet Tezuka Rin" I'm watching their faces, his mom looks really happy to meet me, but dad looks a little nervous. "We hear you've gotten our son interested in art, I'm very impressed, we never had time to get him interested in things like that." His mother said. "He joined the art club all on his own, I just happened to be there." I smile at her and then at Hisao, who's blushing for some reason. His father packs the last of our bags in the trunk and states "We should be off, it's quite a drive." That's where he gets his looks from.

We all pile in the car, dark blue, I like it, and head off down the road. Hisao chats with his parents as I watch a particularly nice cloud go by. I hear bit's and pieces of the conversation, when Hisao rests his hand on my shoulder. I look to him, "Father asked your plans after high school," I think about this for a moment. "I've thought about continuing painting. Maybe going to University, but I'm not good at it, school that is, not painting." His father nods and I return my attention to the window. They continue to chit chat when the butterflies come.


	2. Chapter 2

Memory lane.

After awhile my parents fall silent, as silent as Rin sitting beside me. I can't help but worry about her. I thought that, drifting off, I guess is the best way to put it, would be over with. I accept her for her, but I don't think she's happy with those periods either. She'd probably kick me for thinking these things.

I do my best to put those thoughts aside as I look over to Rin. She looks peaceful, well as peaceful as she can when she's awake and not painting. She's wearing tan cargo pants that I helped her get into this morning and a camouflage long sleeve shirt, with the usual knots in the arms. It's the sports bra that makes it hard to keep from blushing, especially since my parents are an arms length away. She turns and notices me looking, which brings a corner of her mouth up in an evil looking smirk. "Hisaso, are you going to show me off to your home town?" She's gone full blown evil smile now. "Naw, was thinking of keeping you locked up in the workshop." I respond trying my best to keep a blank face. "Not in my work shop you are not," Father pipes up, glancing at me with a grin in the rear view mirror.

"She won't be any trouble in the shop," I laugh as Rin beats me with the stump of her left arm. "OK, the grand tour it is," I say as I raise my arms defensively. "Were almost there Rin, don't let him bully you," Mother says with a chuckle while taking in the view. "Don't worry. I can take him," she says looking up at me with her eyes a sparkle.

We spend the rest of the trip home with me pointing out different buildings from my past, my old school, the games hall where I'd play pool after school when my parents worked late and the tea house I would go to some times on lunch. The feeling of nostalgia floods over me, until I notice Rin looking up at me, her face as unreadable as ever but her eyes are as focused as I've ever seen. I catch the slightest flash of a smile before she's back to her usual self.

We pull in the drive of my parents modest home, and we all pile out, with my father and I getting the luggage while my mother opens the door. Rin is taking the whole scene in, as she does with anything that interests her. Her attention to detail working in over time as she looked over the garden, the house itself and the tall matsu that grew to the opposite side of the drive way.

"I like this," Rin said, "It feels, I don't know.." she trails off. I can't help but catch my mothers smile as she opens the door from the corner of my eye. With luggage in one hand, I wrap my free arm around Rins shoulders and gently guide her to the front door. She looks up at me "This would explain a lot," Giving me one last look before passing my Mother into the living room.

The rest of the time left before my parents went off to work was spent having lunch. This went smoother than I expected, but still had its bumps. My mother, being the one for having meals at the table when ever the family was all in one place, was a little thrown off by Rins requirements for eating, but was more than willing enough to adapt. We moved to the washitsu that my parents kept for special occasions. Rin practically fell into a cross legged position beside me, while studying the tokonoma my parents both put up before I was born.

My parents both watched as Rin deftly dug into her bowl of oyakodon. I kept my grin to myself as my father struggled not to stare. "Did you make this room?" Rin asked, turning her head to look at the tokonoma behind her. "We both did, I folded the paper flowers, and Hisaos father did the hanging scrolls," Mother says attempting to keep the pride out of her voice. "I like it," Rin simply states. "The lunch and the toko, very tasty, the lunch that is," before going back to her bowl. Father out right laughs at this earning him a cocked head from Rin with her fork raised partly to her opened mouth.

We finished lunch and bid my parents a good day at work before they left. "We'll be home late so there's money for dinner on the kitchen table if you want to go out." Mother says as father unlocks the car.

I finish washing up the lunch dishes and put them aside to air dry. Rin had perched herself on a stool my mother kept in the kitchen for when she had her morning coffee. She was now looking out the window that was over the sink into the back yard. "Calm, that's the word, calm," Rin says out of the blue. "Do I get to see your bedroom now?" That evil grin returning to her face.


	3. Chapter 3

The Date.

It is just after noon when I chased Hisao up the stairs to his bedroom, taking a quick moment to take in the history that made him, him. The room did not feel abandoned like you think it would, after not being lived in for a better part of a year. It felt, I don't know, missed maybe? A few movie posters hung on the walls, and a dresser sat with pictures on it. A normal boys room, but Hisao wasn't a normal boy, that much I know.

I look up at him and he's watching me with a cheeky grin, looking like he is about to speak. I don't let him though, I close the distance and press myself against his chest while I tip toe to kiss him.

A few hours later, I rest my sweat kissed brow on Hisao's chest, listening to his heartbeat. It's normal, well as normal as can be for him. I nibble his neck, feeling his reaction inside me. I sit up and glance at his alarm clock. Almost 2:30 pm. I look back at him, he's trying not to grin. I clench my lower stomach a few times, it brings a blush to his face. "Lets clean up, you need to show me off," I say regretfully climbing off.

"... down to the tea shop for dinner if you'd like," Is the first thing I hear after coming back from the void that is also the swarm. I blink a few times to bring myself back completely. I'm in the bathroom and Hisao is behind me brushing my hair, well he was. He's stopped in mid motion, he's looking at me now, with barely concealed worry on his face. I don't like this. This worries me. "That sounds interesting," I reply "I'd like to see where the mysterious Hisao went during school lunches," doing my best wry smile in an attempt to help him forget his worry, or maybe to help me forget. I hate when he worries about me. I wonder if they'll have mangos there.

We're at the front door of his house, I'm standing just before the steps, with my eyes closed taking deep breaths and enjoying the smells. Surprising, for being in the city, it's nice. I hear Hisao locking the door behind me and taking a step to stand beside me. "Shall we go?" he says, as I look up at him. "Yes."

We head into town, my thoughts chasing each other like angry squirrels. That's if squirrels get angry. I think they do, not sure. It is hard trying to figure out the words. Mom never pays any attention to these moments where I would just get lost, neither do my grand parents. Hisao does though, that makes me feel funny. Like happy and sad all at the same time. It's weird. Hisao called me weird once. Said it didn't matter. Maybe it really doesn't.

I look up at Hisao, seeing what I can see in his face. He looks happy, I think, maybe a little worried still. "Hisao?" I ask, watching him as we walk into a more densely populated part of the city. "Rin?" He responds looking down to me. I wonder how tall he is? I can't say anything now, maybe later. "Is this a date?" This makes him smile, I try to memorize that moment, every detail. "Do you want it to be a date?" I think on this, only for a little while. "Yes, I want this to be a date. Does that mean you are my boyfriend?"I ask knowing what his answer will be. "Nope," He replies with a face splitting grin.

"Do you have anything with mango in it?" I ask the waitress after she bows and shows us to our booth, "and oranges if possible." The waitress tries her best not to stare at the sleeves of my shirt. "We have a fruit salad if you'd like," She says, I think her head may explode. "And a straw." The waitress looks from me, although I think it took some effort, to Hisao and asked him his order. "Coffee and lemon meringue pie please and thank you."

I'm looking around the tea house, it's not as modern as the one by the school. It's wooden tables and pillars seem hand crafted and there are paper screens separating the booths. "It's private here," I say looking around, giving my head a good nod of approval. "I knew you'd like it," He replies, resting elbows on the table and then his chin on his hands, all while looking at me. "Oh so you are a mind reader," I say though half lidded eyes, letting a small smile curve my mouth. "Yeah," Hisao grins back to me.

The waitress brings us our orders and awkwardly places the straw in front of me. Hisao, with out missing a beat, places it in my tea cup for me.

"You know, you've never have told me about your parents," He's doing his best conversational voice. I shrug. "Nothing to tell, Mom worked at fishmonger stall. Dad died before I was born, my grandparents took care of me. They are the ones that sent me to school," I shrug again for extra emphasis. "Do you plan on going home? After school that is?" He asks. I pull my eyes from my fruit and look at him, "You want to meet my family?" I ask, as I notice that Hisao has picked up my fork and stabbed a piece of mango, offering it to me. "I'd like to see where the mysterious Rin grew up." I take the fruit from the fork using my tongue, while watching his eyebrow raise. "It could be arranged," I smile with my eyes closed, while savouring the taste.

We continue our "dinner" in silence. Once finished, Hisao pays and he gives me the promised tour of Hisao world. People are staring. I ignore them, except for one person, I waived to her. Well did my best to wave. Got a chuckle out of Hisao. This part of the city wasn't as cramped as some cities can be. Not suburban, but not down town either. Houses still had gardens in the front and it looked like people knew everyone else. I need new sandals.


	4. Chapter 4

The Muse.

We make it back to Hisaos house late. I head up the stairs after Hisao lets us in. In the guest room, I flip the light on and go into my luggage looking for my drawing things. Hisao is at the door to my room. "Rin?", he says looking rather tired. "I'm not tired, you are though," I say as I tip toe up and kiss him. "Night Hisao," I say as I turn to stuff the needed supplies into a bag I keep for such things. "Good night Rin," is the last thing he says before closing his bedroom door.

I Head down stairs, and out through the kitchen, flipping the light for the back patio on before opening the sliding glass door. The back yard is nice. Not very large. Big enough to feel comfortable and not cramped by the small shed in the back corner. The trees look like bonsais that just finished puberty. You couldn't see the neighbours houses from where I sit down, just underneath the light. It was a traditional garden. A good place to meditate. I nod to myself.

I drop the bag between my legs and pull out my sketch book. I flip past some rough sketches of some paintings I did when I first arrived at Yamaku. Sketching is different than painting. I think. I could sketch like I paint, but that feels wrong. Like writing something but skipping out every other word. Or baking cookies but not using eggs. Not that I bake though. I wonder if they have cookies here.

I see in my minds eye what I want to draw. It comes easy. I don't know how long I draw for, I don't normally know these kinds of things. It doesn't mater though. My toes holding the pencil as I make the lines that are in my head. They flow out. If pencil lines could flow. I think they can. I bring the pencil up and tap my chin with the end. "Finished," I say to myself as I nod. "Looks good," Mr Nakai says standing besides me. He's relaxed with his hands in his pockets. His hair is black, but has the same look that his son has. Gets the colour from mom.  
>I rip out the page, and pass it to Mr Nakai, "Thank you," I stop and think for a moment. "Thank you for your son and welcoming me into your home," I pack my things into my bag, as Mr Nakai studies the drawing. It's his son, on the night we stayed up watching the stars. Well, it was on the walk back to be more precise. His face was haloed by his hair and he was smiling, looking down at me. The grim person he was when I met him was gone. Or maybe it wasn't, maybe that part went to sleep. The forest we walked through framed the stars and the moon that night. That thought, brought the smells back to my mind. Or nose, I wasn't sure.<p>

Mr Nakai, stood there, in front of the door, looking at the picture when I pipe up, "Excuse me, I'm going to bed now," I said sliding past Hisaos father into the house. 


	5. Chapter 5

Confessions of a butterfly catcher.

Rin and I are laying in the back yard, watching the clouds float by. It's just after lunch and my parents have already left for work. We head back to school in the next two days. I almost don't want to go, knowing that I'll be idle while Rin catches up on missed work over the rest of summer break. It'll be worth it in the end. It just seems like the right thing to do.

"That one looks like a feather," she says pointing with her big toe, "the kind people used to write with, in England I think. Maybe," bringing her foot back down, "It does, like in the history text book," I agree. I look to her, her hair flayed out around her head and shoulders. She raises her foot again, "That..." and stops. Nothing, but the foggy distant gaze that tells me she's somewhere else. Still. It makes my heart skip.

Thump.. Thump.

Thump.

Thump.. Thump.

The pain hits me, and I breath deep even breaths. Calm down, I tell myself. My heart slowly returns to its regular pace. I continue to watch her as she slowly, brings her foot down. The normally impassive face flickers, briefly, so very briefly, to a look of pain before returning her normal lack of expression. She closes her eyes and a single tear rolls down her cheek getting lost in her auburn hair. I prop myself up on one elbow and lean in and kiss her cheek. This surprises her, but only for a moment. She returns my kiss and sits up. She stands up and while looking at me states, "One moment," and heads into the house.

I lay back down and watch the clouds pass by, thinking about the things that have just happened. I close my eyes for a moment, feeling the sun as it pass behind a cloud and shows its face again. I hear the sliding glass door close and I take a few deep breaths, enjoying the smells and noticing them all. The grass that was cut just yesterday, the pine and the maple trees towards the back of the yard and the cedar hedges that circled the yard. It's odd, but since I've known Rin, I've noticed more of the little things.

I hear the sliding door to the kitchen open and then close. I keep my eyes closed enjoying the orange colour though my eye lids, when a shadow steals that warmth. I hear something drop to my side, and I open my eyes. "Thought you passed out," Rin says she proceeds to sit beside me.

Pulling first her sketch pad, then her pencils out of her bag. I roll over onto my elbow and watch her, it's hard not to watch her. It's very zen like the way she moves, with every movement a purpose and every purpose a movement. She flips though the sketch pad to find a blank page. I recognize several of the sketches, they remind me of several of her paintings. Very abstract, very on the edge of "normal". What ever that word meant.

I watch her start drawing. It's different from her painting. Every stroke while painting is filled with passion, but while drawing, every stroke is precise as if it was a printer copying all the details. It was odd, because she didn't look up at what she was drawing. Almost like photographic memory. You hear about people like that, but you rarely meet them.

I look at my watch and it's almost dinner time, "I'll be back in a few minutes Rin," I say as I stand. She doesn't take her eyes from her work, but responds, "OK."

I head inside and go and grab my wallet from my room. Almost dinner time, and if I don't feed her, she'll forget. I head off to the local corner grocers and grab a few things for dinner, making sure oranges and mangos are in my basket. Once home, I begin cooking dinner, watching Rin out the back window. She hasn't moved position. The only thing that would let you know that she was alive was small movements of her leg as she drew her picture. I plate our dinner and the fruit I had bought and open the glass door with my elbow, closing it the same way behind me.

Rin doesn't notice the smell until I'm beside her and she looks up at me, with my arms full. "You trying to get into my pants, Hisao?" She says through half lidded eyes, looking up at me. "What do you mean trying?" I respond with just a hint of blush coming to my cheeks. "Eat Rin," I tell her as I fork a piece of dinner and offer it to her. She puts her pencil down, at which point I look to her work. It is almost a near identical copy of my parents back yard, in every detail. It's incomplete as of yet, but it's stunning the detail of it all.

She lets me feed her, in between bites of my own dinner. We continue like this, until she notices the mango, which causes her to raise an eyebrow. An odd reaction for her, considering her lack of reactions. She savours the taste just the same, giving me a look like a cat thats just found the cream. Once finished I pile the plates and silverware behind us and scoot over to sit beside her. She leans into me, and I put my arm around her, enjoying her warmth.

"Hisao, I'm scared..." She cuts off, it makes my heart jump a beat, but nothing I can't handle. I bend and kiss the top of her head and ask, "Why?", knowing exactly why.

"'',"

The torrent comes. I raise her chin with two fingers and look into those deep pools of emerald, "Relax, Rin, I'll worry about you whether you like it or not," I say, trying not to get lost in that sea of green. "Now again, in normal speak," I say with a grin on my face. She sighs and begins again, more slowly, like something has drained all her energy, "Sometimes, things just stop, it's like someone turns out the lights, but it's not just the lights its the sounds too," She looks up at me, her eyes are moist. It breaks my already broken heart. "It's like the black swallows me, and when I come out, I see you with worry on your face. It scares me Hisao," The last bit is broken off with a quiet sob. I feel her tears soak into my shirt as she buries her face into my chest. I sigh, "Do you think this is something we can talk to the school nurse about?" I ask not expecting an answer for some time. I feel the slightest of nods against me, and I breath a sigh of relief.

We sit like this for quite some time. Rin huddled against me, like the world was out to get her. This took a lot out of her, the normally unshakeable Rin sat beside me, crying into my chest. I stroked her hair and held her, until I pack up her things and bring the dishes inside. I come back out to collect her and her artists tools, feeling like it was the right thing to do, I placed her bag of drawing things in her lap and picked her up. She looked up at me, as I carried her to the sliding glass doors that lead into the kitchen. She's not heavy, years of focusing on one thing and one thing alone has kept her on the brink of withering away. The week she's spent here has put some meat on her bones, but it would not make up for the years of neglect.

I carry her to the bath, and set her down on the bench so I can prepare the water. I watch her face as I begin to undress her. There are no signs of life there, her swollen red eyes watching me as I undress her, setting her clothes aside. I run warm water, soaping up the cloth, I begin to wash her down. I manage to keep my hormones in check as I run the cloth over her body. She watches me, like a spectre. I rinse her off and pick her up again, not worrying about being wet, I set her down in the bathtub. All this time, the emerald jewels that are her eyes are pined on me, not leaving me, not for a moment. "I love you Rin," I pull up a stool and sat.


	6. Chapter 6

Change.

He's carrying me, I don't know how I feel about that. He said he loved me. I know how I feel about that. All I can see is Hisao's face, while he's taking care of me. Part of me wants to know why, but I know the answer to that already. The words echo in my mind, "I love you Rin," It brings a very small smile to my face. It also brings a smile that he doesn't have an erection right now. I wonder if I should paint that picture of the Nakais backyard? I hope he's not getting used to bathing girls. I lean my head back, and relax, as best I can. I don't like change, and a visit to the nurses office will bring change, that's not good.

I relax in the tub for an hour, I think, before I stand. Hisao takes this as a sign that I'm finished and towels me off. I bend my neck and push him to the bench he had so gently placed me on, "Get undressed please," I ask, bringing up the stool he was sitting on. I lather the brush and begin to scrub him down. He's embarrassed, that's good. I rinse him off as best I can, and nod towards the tub. I add more warm water to it, as I know he likes his baths very warm. My mind goes back to this afternoon, it all just emptied out of me, like when you eat the last cookie, and you think there are more, but there aren't.

It's hard, I've always felt no one understood me. I accepted that, eventually. People just drifted away. It doesn't bother me that people don't get me, what bothers me, I think, is that Hisao comes along. Not that there have been many like him. It scares me. A lot.

Hisaos, out of the tub now, the scar on his chest standing out from the pale of the rest of his chest. Very pink. He wraps a towel around both of us, I had forgotten I was naked in front of him. He holds me close, while drying me off, he wraps a towel around me. I stand there watching him, as he wraps a towel around himself. I follow him to his bed room, I feel lost, even though I've been here a week.

Hisao doesn't turn on the lights. We know the way around his room. He climbs into bed, and throws the blankets back welcoming me in. I worm my way close to him, and he brings the blankets around me. He kisses me, on my forehead, on the bridge of my nose, on my lips. I return the favour, his hands caressing my body. The fear I had dissipates, to be replaced with a calm that scares me just as much.

Change pt. 2

The sun is shining though the curtains, I feel this with out opening my eyes. The bed is empty beside me, there is heat here still, but not the body that left it. I worm my way to the remaining heat. The door opens. Hisao is standing there with a tray, hard not to hide my surprise , as I open my eyes, fruit, omelet and juice with one of those bendy straws sticking out. That must be his fathers doing, I think. I sit up against his wall, watching him as he scoots up against the wall besides me.

I hate being fed, people turn it into a circus side show. But Hisao, he doesn't. There's kindness in his eyes. Like he sees past the big bits and sees the smaller bits that make up the big bits. Always. Not sympathy, not sadness, well not when he's focused anyways. He offers me a bite of omelet, I take it, savouring the taste. People don't understand, that's okay, I do.

We get ready for the day, for the trip back to school. I leave Hisao to clean up after breakfast while I pack my bag, well as close to packing as I get. I flip though the sketch book one more time before packing it away. I rip out the picture I drew the other day and leave it on the bed, I think his parents will like it. I'm siting on the end of the bed, zipping up my luggage, when I hear foot steps come up the stairs.

"Hisao, if you are going to rape me, you need to be more quiet," I say to the figure approaching my room. I turn to the door with my usual half lidded look, but it's not Hisaso, it's his mother. "Oh, hello, Mrs Nakai," I say, watching her face, ignoring the human need to feel embarrassed in a situation like this.

"Rin-Chan, I would like to thank you." This took me by surprise, no one had thanked me for anything, ever. I cocked my head at Hisaos mother, but say nothing. I can see Hisao in her, or is it the other way around? "When Hisaso left the hospital, we thought we had lost him, he was nothing but a shell of his old self," The embarrassment I shook off before hits me head on now. I blushed, not normal, not good. "Hisao, was there for me too. We both had demons, Hisao was just stronger than I," I say looking anywhere but at Hisaos mother. Mrs Nakai chose this time to hug me. I froze, not knowing weather to bow to my fight or flight reflex or just to enjoy the feeling. "You are always welcome in our home Rin-chan," Mrs Nakai says as she brakes off the hug and leaves.

I thought about this experience as Hisao carried my bag out and packed it in the trunk of the car. I caught a glimpse of Hisao as I headed out through the hallway towards the front door. They had hung and framed the picture I drew of their son. It was a simple black frame, did not take away from the simple pencil drawing it held behind its glass. It's the smile. That must be it, I thought to myself.


End file.
